Rules of Life Suck, But Are Good For You

How are you? Well, come on in. It's so good to have you today. We're going to talk about a couple things, as I've been doing all day long, today about becoming you.

You know, you. Hang on. It's going to be a good show. Hang on. This is the Daily Booze from MotivationToMove.com, all spelled out, MotivationToMove.com.

If you want to know more about my operation reinvention or my Fisher Passion or the private coaching I do, that's kind of what I do. And I got some free stuff too. If you want to know that, just go to MotivationToMove.com. The podcast is there as well.

And all the show notes and everything else is there. You can search it, too. I put the search bar in there. You can search for all kinds of crazy stuff.

And I mentioned yesterday the Daily Awareness Diary that will be an app here at some point as part of a coaching program. If you want to know how that works, it has been explained on multiple podcasts. Just go to the website motivationandmove.com and search Daily Awareness Diary. You'll find a bunch of variety there because we change the programs up every single time I do them.

It's there for you. Anyway. I'm going to share some stuff today about living according to the rules of life. But yesterday I was thinking about my show and I said, man, I really had a good day.

I even said that on the podcast. I said, man, my life is good. I got good friends and good conversations doing what I like to do. It's fun. I mean, I wear myself out half the time, but it's a good time.

I really like what I'm doing right now. I like my life. It's kind of cool. But I had somebody ask me in a conversation about somebody they had met. And they wanted a good life, too, in their marriage.

And they said, well, how do I know I'm going to get a good marriage? I said, well, what are your intentions with this girl? Well, I'd like to marry her.

He's known her like a month and a half. I said, well, great. What do I have to do to be able to marry her? How do I know it's going to be the right thing to marry her?

How do I know it's going to work out? Well, listen, marriage is tough, but here's what I told him. I said, listen. In anything you do, it's marriage. It could be just any relationship.

It could be your job. It could be anything, really. It doesn't really matter. Once you get in a thing, things tend to go well. So let's go back to the marriage thing.

If you're in a marriage thing, ideally, it's going to go well every day. Yeah, there's challenges. Yeah, we have problems and hiccups along the way and all kinds of things that happen. But ultimately, that's what makes a marriage work is that you figure out how, hey, we're good for each other.

We're team us. Let's go, right? That's the deal. He agreed with me when I said that, by the way. I said, so as you're dating right now, let me ask you a question.

Has today been a good day? Oh, yeah. Today's awesome. Every day's been good so far. I said, great. Get up and do it again tomorrow. I said, okay, I can do that.

What do I do the next day? I said, same thing. As long as it's good, just get up and do good. That's it. Just keep it. As long as it's going good, then just keep going.

If you want to get married, then one day you'll just decide to make it formal. But nothing will change. You will just keep going through the goodness, right?

And if things begin to unravel and fall apart, you'll know that as well. And you'll know it's time. Same thing with the job. As long as it's going really well, just keep going really well.

Keep doing the good stuff. And if it keeps getting gooder, then keep going. And if it starts to unravel, then you got to make a change. Pretty simple stuff, right?

That was not today's podcast. That's not the podcast. But you know me. I got to give you more. I've been doing this a long time. I usually break all the rules.

My goal is really simple, to come off some calls that I've been talking to, some people I have helped today, and they've helped me too, a lot of great conversations. I've been talking on the phone today since 8 o'clock in the morning. It is now 2.24 in the afternoon. I have not stopped.

I always stop for 15 minutes to have lunch. My day is just great conversations. It's fantastic. Today I want to talk about becoming you. That's on my mind today because I had this conversation a little bit earlier as well.

because I'm working with clients on the importance of knowing the rules they live by and making sure their daily activities align with those rules. If you didn't hear that, listen closely again. I said, making sure your daily activities align with your rules that you have, right?

By the way, in our world of people, our rules are our values. It's not some books in place. I mean, some people, if you're a Christian, you have a Bible. It's got rules in it.

But that technically is a value to you. You value that, right? So it's still a value. Values are the moral compass of your life. Choosing activities that violate your moral compass, what's a technical term?

It makes your life a mess. It makes you unhappy. And ultimately, you become a person that you don't even recognize anymore because you didn't focus on it.

So it's really that important. Now, a lot of people don't like rules, but and honestly, most people don't even understand their values. I would bet you right now if 10 of you stood up and I said, do you know your values? All 10 of you would say, yes, I do.

And I say, OK, what are they? And you would you'd get like three in. That's it. Very few people could tell me their values. And those who can tell me their values are usually lying.

Hate to say it. Come here. You know what I mean by that? I mean that most people who don't and haven't taken the time to study what their actual internal values are, the ones they give me are almost always the ones they want to be.

Go figure, right? But it's aspirational. Well, this is who I am. I said, well, no, that's kind of who you want to be because I can see who you are. You're not doing that.

That's my point today. It's your actions. So how does this happen? Why is it essential that we have to act according to our values, our rules? Well, let's work it backwards, okay?

First off, the person you have become today on the inside and how you see yourself is your identity. And if we're going to change anything about your life, we have to shift your identity. Change is really difficult. It's a science.

It's been studied like crazy. I actually more and more am focusing on that because I'm just noticing that anybody can hustle and grind. Anybody can set a goal. Anybody can go for it.

But that change, the ability to decide where you are and where you want to go and then to get through the confusion in the middle and actually make that decision, cross the Rubicon.

That's hard because it's your identity. So we have to shift that to the point you make the change. So the identity is created according to some rules and your moral compass.

That you use to guide your life. Those are your values. Should I repent? Probably, if I even knew what that word meant. But the truth is, it's that way, right?

No matter what happens, you listen to me every single day, and I come across probably as a nice guy. I am the nicest renegade you'll ever meet. Have I been perfect in my life? No, but my values are good.

I got morals. I got your back. I can promise you that. You can trust me. I promise you that stuff. Why? It's my value. And if I mess up, I mess up. And if I do, I say I'm sorry and I try again.

That's my value, by the way, my number one value. I always try to do the right thing. If I mess up, and I do often, I'll say I'm sorry and try to do it again. Not mess up again, but try to get it right again.

Values enter your mind because belief is formed. And the outcome of your life experiences. Good or bad, every experience dictates what you believe. Bottom line.

So let's get back to where I initially started on this. This is a big values talk from identities. I talked about a lot of stuff, identity shifting. Heck, I even talked about marriage in this too.

That's a value, isn't it? But the values are exactly who you are. Do you know your values? Have you ever thought about them? My daily witness diary was really genuinely created to reveal the values without you having to go make them up, without you having to think about it, without you having to make a list or watch a video.

to actually extract your values from what your daily activities are. That's why I created the whole thing, because I noticed that people, they made them up they didn't really know. Because I can tell you this, if you don't know exactly who you are on the inside, you're never going to get what you want on the outside. And if you do, it's going to be a hot mess.

Those contradictions happen all the time. So how do you make it happen? So I want you to think about goals or daily activities, the stuff you do. When you get out of bed, you've got stuff to do all day long today.

Now, not all of it, I don't think, is going to fall in the category of this is how I form my values, although some of it will. Everything you do throughout the course of the day, generally speaking, is a tangible expression of what you feel on the inside.

If your value in the morning and you get out of bed, one of your values is to maintain a clean house. There's a very good chance that at some point during the course of the day, you're going to be picking up after yourself and putting dishes away and doing the stuff you have to do.

If that's not a value, there's a very good likelihood you're going to have a trashed house, right? So if I want to, you know, see what your values are, I can just walk in your house and I pretty much can tell, can't I?

Some people say your values are based on how you dress. That's a little subjective there, but I think that's true though. I don't dress fancy, but I like fancy stuff.

Most times you'll see me in t-shirts and shorts. Why? Because my values ought to be comfortable and enjoy myself, but yet I am appropriate. So if I go a place that I'm expected to dress better, I do.

Everything you do throughout the course of the day is dictating what your values are and probably driven by your values. And I will tell you, most people, the most unhappy people I know and the happiest people I know, you can tell where they are.

So what ends up happening is this. Either you have a certain set of values that you live and die by, that it's exactly who you are, and yet you get up out of bed every single day and everything you do violates them.

The joke I've said over the years is you are an honest person. You would never do anything wrong. And yet you rob banks at lunchtime. Yeah, I need the money, man.

See what I mean? That'll make you completely unhappy. Happy for a while, yeah. It does. You know why? Because it's kind of fun. Because values are rules.

And whatever rule you put inside, if you're going to break it in your day-to-day activity, it's kind of fun to break the rule. And at the same time, it's still breaking the rule, right?

The most happy people I know are not restricting themselves. They're simply looking at their values and their beliefs, and they're making sure their daily activities align with that. They're living in that.

You know, I generally don't like to speed and, you know, I generally like to be safe on the highway in the car. I do go, especially on my motorcycle. Okay. I totally know.

I have a value. My value is I drive cars in the speed limit, but on my motorcycle, I don't. That's my value. Isn't it great to be human? We can justify anything, right?

You get my point, right? Generally speaking, I'm not going to be a rule breaker. When it comes to highway or roadway laws, I'm generally speaking going to be okay. If you catch me, it's probably because I was asleep at the wheel.

I hate that. I wasn't thinking. I was being stupid for the moment, but I didn't do it on purpose. I have a value. Okay, so maybe this makes me a Karen.

I don't even like the word Karen, right? But I'll say it in this case. We live in a neighborhood, and we have a four-way stop in our neighborhood. I stop at that four-way stop every single time.

It doesn't matter which way I come from. I'm coming out of my house. I'm going to that stop sign. I stop. It's the major road in our neighborhood. I always stop.

Now, do I come to a complete stop or not? Debatable. Sometimes, yes. Probably mostly a rolling stop, right? Like we all do. But I stop. And I'm just amazed by the fact that people just because it's, I don't know, seven o'clock in the morning and nobody's driving around or maybe it's eight o'clock at night and there's nobody driving in the car in the neighborhood.

They don't even slow down. They just go right through the stop sign. I had a friend of mine do that one time. He said, I don't need to stop nobody around.

I'm saying, okay, wait a second. Again, I'm not, I don't, see, I have a problem with this right now. Because I'm like, I'm enough of a rule follower who say, no, you stop at the stop sign. That's what the sign said to do.

It didn't say stop as if, and if nobody's around, just go. It didn't say that. I think that's called yield. Is that what that is? That's a value statement.

And it can get you in trouble. It's a very simple thing. It's funny. I just thought of that right now, but I've seen it a lot. Some people are laughing at me right now.

Oh, come on, man, Scott. There's nobody around. Just go through the stop sign. Yeah, but my values say not supposed to, not going to. And one day when you get in an accident and I don't or I get hit by you, oh, my gosh, see how it all falls apart?

So I don't care where you are. I don't care what your values are. That's not my point here. But be honest about where they are. But I can tell you this.

If you get up every single day, I'm a good person. I'm a law-abiding person. This is stuff I like to do. That's who I am. I don't break any rules. I'm good in every sense of the way.

And you roll through a stop sign just because nobody else is around? I'll let you finish that up, okay? I understand, okay? It's common sense. Oh, come on, Scott.

Loosen up a little bit. Yes, I've probably done it once or twice myself in my life, but I don't know. You are who you are. You can demonstrate that every single day.

It's like me doing podcasts. One a day for 20 years. Kind of got a value showing right there, don't I? Consistency. Not sure they're all good, but I try.

I really do. I'll see you tomorrow.