BE 612: What Not to Say at Work Part 1: Inept and Incompetent

This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 612, What Not to Say at Work, Part 1, Inept and Incompetent. Welcome to the Business English Podcast from All Ears English. Get the English skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business. For a presentation, a meeting, or your office party, this is Real Business English with your favorite American hosts, Aubrey and Michelle, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.

Hey, Michelle, how's it going? Good, Aubrey. How are you? Excellent. I am so excited to bring you guys this episode today because there are some landmines when learning any language, right?

Words that have hidden meanings or an underlying meaning that isn't immediately obvious to language learners. Yes, definitely important to know about that. So today you're going to learn about an adjective that you should not use at work. So we're going to share why and what you should say instead.

So should we listen to the episode, Aubrey? Yes, let's do it. All right. Hey, Aubrey. How are you doing today? How's it going? I'm great, Lindsay. How are you?

Good, but I do have a question I'd like to ask you today at the top of the show. You ready? Great. Yes, I'm ready. So would you ever call someone inept if they didn't perform a task well?

Would you say that you were inept? I would never call someone inept. I wouldn't call myself that. I wouldn't call someone else. It's so cruel and it's such a character judgment that

that I would really avoid it. This came up recently in an episode, right? Yeah. I might say it about myself. Like I'm technologically inept. I'm inept when it comes to TikTok these days.

It doesn't feel too harsh. Yeah. It's kind of in a sarcastic way. I'm making fun of myself. I'm going hard at it. Right. But it is so, yeah, to say to someone you are inept, not good.

Yeah. I agree. Yes. Okay. I kind of like that idea. If I'm trying to use hyperbole, I'm trying to exaggerate how bad I am at something and sort of poke fun about it, be sarcastic, then maybe, right?

Ooh, I'm really inept about keeping the dishes clean, like keeping the sink empty. Yeah. Yeah. I think when we look to be funny, especially self-deprecating humor, we go for the extreme adjectives and inept is an extreme adjective.

So there's a place for that, a place in time. But today we're talking about why not to use it along with a few other things, right? Yes. This came up recently in episode 2206.

It was called Dork, Doofus, and Dweeb, Are These English Names Offensive? If you missed it, go check it out. That was an amazing episode. And we shared the dictionary definition of dork.

What was it, Lindsay? It's not really how we use the word. The dictionary can fool you sometimes. I thought it was funny how just, I don't know, blatant this was, right?

Contemptible and socially inept. But that's not really what we taught you. That's not what we mean when we say dork. So don't let the dictionary fool you.

Go check out that episode so that you have all the information you need about those words. Yeah. And but when inept came up, I immediately was like, oh, this is going to be a good episode for business English. So that episode is over on the All Ears English podcast.

Make sure you're following both. It was 2206. Go check it out. And here we're sharing in a business context why you really don't want to call someone inept.

And some other words that you would really want to avoid. Yeah. So let's lay the context for our listeners. I mean, sometimes you're on a team, right?

You're on a team. Maybe you are a project manager, you have a boss, but then you're a manager of a project and there are individual contributors on your project, right? Can we imagine that scenario? Exactly.

Yes, absolutely. I'm in that scenario a lot, right? I'm working with the team. I'm counting on other people to do their parts of the project well. And then if they do, then I can.

And everything's all very interconnected. For sure. So there's going to be a moment when the boss is going to ask maybe, let's say, the project manager about the other contributors on the team, how their performance is looking, right? Yes.

Absolutely. And you need phrases, you need to know how to do this in a way that is respectful and professional. So we have a couple of words you would want to avoid, and then we have better options with examples so that when you are in this situation, you know exactly what to say. Yeah.

So we've got some ding, ding, red flag words that we want to throw out and make sure we never use. Because the problem with these two words is that it's really more, it's, they're very, it's like everlasting what you're saying. If they're inept, they're always inept and they can't change. That's just how they are.

That's who they are. Right? Exactly. It's such a leader judgment. Which feels so much more unfair, you know, especially if you are sharing about someone's work, something that happened, to call them inept will actually probably be a red flag to your supervisor.

That they're like, oh, that feels like you're making a character judgment now. Let's not do that. Yeah. For sure. So definitely stay away from that if someone is asking.

And it doesn't have to be a boss that's asking you as a manager. It also could be you're just another individual contributor and you're commenting on someone at your same level. That could be true too, right? Exactly.

So that's the first one to avoid. Inept, it means showing no skill. And yes... Let's avoid that one, especially at work. But like Lindsay said, maybe about yourself to exaggerate.

But the second one is very similar. It means it's incompetent. Similar meaning showing no skill, like having no skill in an area. There are so many better options.

I would be devastated if someone said either of these words about me. Right. Yeah. No, these are not very kind. Right. And again, they're really pointing towards the person.

What we want to point towards is the work. Right. Exactly. So let's think about that as we share these better options. When you do need to share that someone's work was not up to par, someone's performance was not up to par, you might be in this situation.

And it's tricky. You probably will get that, okay, how do I say this? How do I word this? Because it's hard to know sometimes. Yeah. I mean, no matter what, some of this feedback still might be hard.

I mean, remember, we're not delivering it in this episode today directly to the person, right? It's going to someone else. But either way, it is kind of hard to offer feedback. But if something's missing, we have to be able to do it.

Right. Exactly. It's especially hard if you are really close with your coworkers, your colleagues, it would be difficult to share that their work is not up to par, their performance isn't up to par. But if you do it in a very respectful, professional way, then it's okay.

It has to happen and then it's okay. So these phrases will help you do that. All right. So the first one is unprepared. This is great. It's talking about them, yes, but it's talking about their work in that moment.

Right. Exactly. You might say, unfortunately, she seemed unprepared for the last meeting. Yeah. And you're dressing it up by saying, unfortunately, you wish she had been, you want to be on her side, but you have to be honest, right?

There's a lot we can do with some extra words. Exactly. Yes. Where we sort of soften, dress it up like you said. I like that. We're being honest here, but we're also not trying to just throw somebody under the bus and make them look worse than they are.

There are so many other ways we could say this. That would be sort of trying to imply that it's a huge problem. Totally. Or it seemed he was a bit unprepared and we're dressing it up again.

We're pulling back by saying a bit and by saying it seemed. All these words do little things, right? Exactly. If you just said he was unprepared. Right.

Oh, it's much harser. It seems much more serious. I agree. Those words are softening a little, still honest, but we're just pulling back a little bit on how harsh we're being.

Yeah, for sure. For sure. And then what would be another example? And then if it's a little bit of a different situation where several things have happened, you might say something like, I've noticed over the past few weeks, a pattern of unpreparedness.

So this is a great noun, very impressive that you're taking this adjective unprepared. and saying there's a pattern of unpreparedness, which means you've noticed multiple times when they were unprepared. Yeah, this is maybe getting a little more direct because if you're seeing a pattern, you want to call it out, especially if your boss is asking you about it, right? Exactly.

So you're needing to be honest. Everyone's goal here is to fix the problem, right? To help performance be improved, to help have the end product we need. But the words we use to say that can either be respectful and professional or not.

So these phrases are all that. Yes. Number two, love this, guys. I hope you're writing this down because this is good stuff. Number two, could use refining or refinement.

Yes. Love that. This is like if you're providing feedback, maybe on something that... Maybe a coworker is working on something and they're asking for your feedback to... Say, do you feel like this is a finished product?

Maybe it's a presentation, there's slides, a demo, an email. And this is a great way to say that you think it does still need refinement. There's still some work that could be done. Yeah, it could work either way.

So again, if you're going directly, you're asking your coworker, the coworker's coming right back to you. Or again, if it's a scenario where the boss is asking your manager or something like that, that could work too. I think the presentation was good, although it could use a bit of refining or a bit of refinement. And I love that you're using both because both work, you're either using the verb or

saying it could use a bit of refining. And you can also use that noun. Like with a little refinement, our skills will be where we need them to be. And we can talk about this either about deliverable or about a person's skills that still have some refinement that's needed.

And it's kind of a positive thing. It's a motivation. It means you have a lot of it. We just need to sharpen things a little bit. Again, these are words that are about development.

Absolutely. We're not just trying to be critical. We're trying to help everyone grow and develop and be where they could be. Exactly. And then number three, how about this one?

Yeah, this is needs improvement. So you might say, oh, I think it needs improvement, but she's on the right track. This could be, again, about a deliverable, right? If the slides need improvement, it's very similar to could use refinement.

Right. Or with a bit of improvement, the presentation will be perfect. Love that. And this is so positive, right? You're being honest. You're sharing that needs improvement, needs refining.

That's okay. Right. But you're doing it in a very respectful way where this coworker is going to be grateful for your feedback rather than feeling criticized. Yeah.

And then there's one other that came to mind as we started recording is a term underdeveloped. So not about the person, right? About the work. So I've heard this being used in academia.

Yeah. if an essay is a little underdeveloped, right? So you're asking, maybe your essay is getting peer reviewed or you're just working on your final version and you ask your classmate in your PhD program, I think it's a little underdeveloped still. Can you build out, maybe think about building out this detail and support for this idea?

Yeah. That I think could work too, if it's delivered, obviously in a kind way. Yeah. I love this. I love this adjective. It's so great for like a proposal, a contract slides that could use improvement.

They're a little underdeveloped, but it's such a positive. Yeah. You're just sharing that. Some work could be done. These could be better, but they're good now as well.

I don't know. I love that. It's Although be careful of just of what words you do put around it. I remember I have a vague recollection. I used to work one-on-one with language learners, with English learners.

And I was working with a woman from Paris, from France. And I don't know, I think she, for some reason, reviewed one of my academic works. I was in graduate school at that time. I don't remember why or what the context was, but she read it and I was like, what did you think of the, you know, what did you think?

She said, uh, underdeveloped. By itself on its own would feel pretty harsh. It's true. The words you couch it with, right? A bit, a bit. It seems a bit underdeveloped.

And then if you could not just stop there, but share what you feel like they could add, what is it missing? Then it'll be constructive instead of just critical. Yeah. Yeah.

So that might have been, I'm sure that was a cultural difference there or possibly a language difference that she didn't have the language to put around it. But just delivering the words alone aren't enough, right? There's so much behind the words and the words we, as you said, Aubrey, couch it with. That's such a good point.

If any of these, if you just say them on their own, a supervisor asks you and you're like, I could use refining. Needs improvement. That's harsh, right? Couch it in words that you're still honest, you're sharing the same message, but in a respectful way.

Yes. Okay. Let's put it into a role play, shall we? Yes. You and Eric are coworkers here. You want to start us out? Yes. All right. Here we go. So how's your team doing with the new demos?

It's been a bit of a challenge. There are definitely a few things that need improvement. I was able to sit in on Mary's presentation on Monday, and she seemed a bit unprepared.

Yes, she had been out sick the week before, so she's got some catching up to do. Mark's demo could also use refining, but we're on the right track. All right. So this feels like mostly a positive conversation, but we are flagging issues that have to be addressed.

We can't be blind to issues and no one's perfect. I mean, the motto of our show is connection, not perfection. We're never perfect from the start. So things need to be refined and developed.

Yeah. And both extremes would be terrible here. If I were like, oh, everyone's the worst. No one's doing everything on time. No, that's not respectful.

It's not professional. Or if I'm like, oh, yeah, no, it's great. Everything's fine. She's been sick. We'll be fine. I'm also being honest about like, yep, there's some refining, some improvement needed, but we're on the right track.

It's also never true. Generally, I believe that people want to do a good job. Absolutely. They're doing the very best they can with what they have, but maybe it's more on the manager or the co-workers to give them a little help, a little direction.

Absolutely. We want that feedback. We're often asking for it. And even if we don't ask for it, we're glad to get it because like you said, Lindsay, we're wanting to do the best we can to be a valuable member of this team.

And then the way it's communicated to us can be so helpful if it's done in the right way. Love it. So let's go through it real quick, Aubrey. So you said, oh, it's been a bit of a challenge.

There are definitely a few things that need improvement. And I asked you about the demos. Yeah. Yeah. So, and this I think will happen. It's interesting for a supervisor where I'm sort of staying general.

I'm like, oh, there are a few things that need improvement because I don't know if you just want sort of a general report on the team or if you're asking for specifics about, but then we get into the specifics because you've witnessed something that was, someone was unprepared. Right, right. How much detail? So maybe you hold back a little bit at first.

And then I go into, I said, I was able to sit on Mary's presentation and she seemed a bit unprepared, right? Yes, which is a nice way to say it, right? You clearly, this might've been big. It might've been like a real problem that someone's unprepared.

It went terribly. We're respectfully trying to get to the root of the problem and how do we fix it, right? Yeah. And I let you know that she had been out sick.

So she's got some catching up to do. I love this phrasal verb, catching up. Catching up, that's a little behind. Yeah, bonus for today, guys. Write it down.

And then you continued by saying Mark's demo could also, I kind of felt like also would fit well there too. Yeah, it was interesting. I said Mark's demo also could use refining, but I think it would feel more natural to say Mark's demo could also use refining. Both work, but it's interesting how sometimes one feels a little more right to us.

Yeah. Both are fine, honestly. But yeah, you could put it in after could too, for sure. Totally. Good. All right. Where should we leave our listeners?

Before we go into our takeaway today, I do want to make sure our listeners hit follow, right? On Business English. Go ahead and hit that follow button. And don't forget that All Ears English podcast is over on YouTube.

And soon this show, Business English, should be on YouTube too. We are working on it, guys. We're working on getting it over there. All right. Awesome.

Yes. Follow both shows. You want the episode that inspired this one, right? You want to make sure you're not missing all of these amazing episodes. So hit follow on all of our shows.

All of our shows. What's the takeaway? Where do we leave our... I mean, words matter. Words matter, right? Inept and incompetent. Should be avoided at work.

Whether, I mean, maybe describing yourself sarcastically, but definitely not to describe colleagues. Yeah. Yeah. And not in the context of work stuff either when you're describing yourself.

It's more like, I don't know, to say, oh gosh, I'm socially inept because, you know, I don't know, you're making fun of yourself. Or my performance was inept. That's awkward for someone to be like, no, you... You did great.

Don't say this about yourself either. Maybe we could do another episode on poking fun at yourself in a classy way. It doesn't go too far. Words that we can use to be sarcastic, but that we wouldn't use.

It's too far. It's too much. Yeah. It's too far too much. And I think, so words matter and the words around the words also matter, right? Exactly. The way you say it, what you couch it in, like you said, I love that.

will really make a difference on how it's received. And that's everything about building connections at work, having those strong relationships with colleagues and with supervisors. Yeah, this is a great episode, guys. I hope you have this vocab and we'll be back soon on Business English for the next episode.

All right. Awesome. Thanks, Lindsay. All right. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. Michelle, a word like inept seems so innocent, but it can be so dangerous, right?

Yeah. So we're so excited that you now have these details to avoid offending coworkers and colleagues. Exactly. And then, of course, the synonym incompetent.

These are used pretty interchangeably. So everything you learned about inept also applies for the adjective incompetent. And this is so tricky. We want to avoid using these at work and instead use one of those four alternatives we shared like unprepared or needs refinement, something that is a lot more polite and respectful.

Yeah, absolutely. So be sure to follow for the rest of this series with other words and phrases that you should avoid using at work. Yes. Awesome. We will see you there.

All right. Bye, Aubrey. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional. Want more from All Ears English?

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