BE 611: Asking Too Many Questions? How to Apologize for the Interrogation

This is the Business English Podcast episode 611, Asking Too Many Questions, How to Apologize for the Interrogation. Welcome to the Business English Podcast from All Ears English. Get the English skills you need to achieve your dreams in global business. For a presentation, a meeting, or your office party, this is Real Business English with your favorite American hosts, Lindsay and Michelle, coming to you from New York City and Colorado, USA.

Hey, Lindsay, how are you? Good, Michelle. Good. How are you? How's it going? Going well, going well. Lindsay, do you enjoy being asked a ton of questions?

Do I enjoy being asked a ton of questions? Wow. It really depends on why it feels like this person's asking these questions. Are they just genuinely interested or do I feel under attack in some way?

Right, right. Exactly. There's a difference, of course, right? So, I mean, of course, if somebody is asking me questions and we're in a natural conversation, I like answering questions and that's fun, but...

If you're if you feel like that person, there's kind of an ulterior motive. It can start to feel aggressive, like kind of like an interrogation. Yeah, like you're under attack. Like I said, aggression.

There's a sense it can feel quite a yes, like these things are coming at you like bullets or something. Yeah. So we did discuss a phrase for this idea in one of our previous episodes that was Business English 575, getting grilled at work, how to talk about high pressure questions. So that phrase was what, Michelle, it was to... To grill someone.

Yeah. So this was very interesting. So this... So, Lindsay, what does it mean to grill someone? Exactly what we've just said, you know, especially in a...

A situation where it feels like the person's trying to just like maybe not accuse you necessarily. It's a negative feeling. Boom, boom, boom. Question.

Tell me about this. Tell me about this. Tell me about this. And it never lets up. Right? It feels intense. Yeah. Yes, exactly. So you're making like that person justify their behavior.

It just feels... Wrong. So yeah, they might just be trying to get information, but maybe who knows what they're doing. So today we're discussing what to say.

This is a follow-up to 575. So definitely listen to that one if you haven't already. And while you're doing that, make sure that you hit the follow button so that you never miss anything from the Business English podcast. So we're here three days a week and we don't want you to miss it.

Let us hop right into your queue. Yeah, totally. So today's side is when you are the one asking all those questions, right? But you do, you actually have good intentions.

So you're worried how that's going to come off. You don't actually want them to feel interrogated. That's a great word, high level interrogation. C1, C2 word for today, interrogated.

Interrogated. Yes. So what can we say, Lindsay, if we're asking a lot of questions, but we don't want that other person to feel uncomfortable. We don't want them to think that we're grilling them.

Right. I mean, you can simply say, I don't mean to grill you, right? So for example, I don't mean to grill you. I'm just trying to understand what happened here.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So you're coming down to their level a bit and you're coming in for a reality check. This is what's really happening from my side. Right.

Or sorry for all the questions. I don't mean to grill you. Right. So. Yeah, you're you're again, we talk we've been talking about like self awareness and things like that.

And, you know, if you realize if you're genuinely not trying to grill someone, but you think, oh, it's starting to sound a little bit like that. These are really good to say to keep that connection going, not make that person feel uncomfortable or like they don't want to share something with you. Yeah, it's so true. We will be coming out soon with a great episode about self-awareness and when you talk about something repetitively.

And this kind of ties in a little bit. So guys, that's over on All Ears English. So make sure you open your search bar, search for All Ears English podcast, and hit the follow button so you don't miss that episode coming up in the coming weeks. Yes, exactly.

So what's another thing you could say? I don't want to grill you, but. So that's the structure here. I don't want to grill you, but I have tons of questions about the report.

Or I don't want to grill you, but I need to know everything there is to know about the upcoming event. Yeah. And this is really useful because in a lot of professions, like you have to know, okay, someone generated a report and you have to check to make sure the data is correct or you have doubts about it. It's totally valid to ask questions.

You know, it's totally fine. It's just how do you approach it? Yes, exactly. And just like in episode 575 that we mentioned about grilling someone, we can also – Lindsay, we've been talking about the word interrogate.

So you could use interrogate to be a little bit more formal. So like, I don't mean to interrogate you. Sorry about all the questions. I don't mean to interrogate you.

Yeah, there's a hint of sarcasm here, right? Because you are using a stronger word. Like interrogate is like what someone does when someone's – Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The police station. Like 60 minutes or something. Right. Right. Yeah. So it was the police station. The cops are asking questions about the timeline of the event of the night of the murder.

Right. So you are like choosing that select. You're selecting that more intense word because you're adding sarcasm. Oh, I don't want this to feel like an interrogation or anything.

Yeah. you know. Right, right. Or like, I didn't mean to interrogate you earlier. So this is already if it happened, and you're kind of trying to repair whatever happened.

I had to gather all that info quickly. So that's also useful after the fact if necessary. Completely. Or next construction, I don't want to interrogate you, but XYZ.

I don't want to interrogate you, but I'd like to understand what led to the delay. Okay. Yeah. Good. All right. We'll take a quick break and then we'll come back for a little bit more.

Okay. Okay. Michelle, what else can we say here? What do you think? Yeah, well, I mean, you can simply apologize in a way by saying, sorry for all the questions.

So we also talk about this, though. You know, we don't always need to be apologetic about everything. But this, I think it can sometimes just show a humbleness that shows yourself aware and that you don't want that person to feel any pressure. So sorry for all the questions.

I'm still getting my bearings at the company. Yeah, sometimes it can just be refreshing just to be very straightforward. This is kind of the most straightforward way of doing it. They're just saying sorry, right?

Or you could make it more formal and say, I apologize for all the questions. That's just a little more businessy. I apologize for all the questions. I wasn't briefed on the assignment.

Yeah. Mm hmm. Exactly. And another thing you can do is apologize for giving someone the third degree, which was give someone the third degree that was also from the same episode.

And again, it means to, you know, ask someone a series of intense questions. So when you apologize for giving someone the third degree, it's it's usually kind of light and humorous. Yeah. So for example, sorry for giving you the third degree here, right?

Sorry for giving you the third degree back there. I was just super confused about the project. Yeah. Yeah. I remember learning this phrase when I used to watch like, I don't know, shows about teenagers and they'd say their parents gave them the third degree when they came home late from school.

from being out you know that kind of thing i don't know where that phrase comes from it's an interesting um i i think i i also will hear like if somebody is giving someone else the third degree or they feel interrogated they might say something like what's with the third degree what's right that's a really we should do a whole other episode on what's with that would be great on all ears english yeah yeah i love that Uh-huh. Or yeah, just shortening it, saying sorry for the third degree. I think I understand what happened now.

Sorry for the third degree. So you're shortening it. You're just saying, but it's obvious that the third degree came from you, right? Yes, exactly. So yeah, these are all really, really helpful and useful.

They They build that connection. They show you're paying attention and you know how something may sound and you just want that person to know that you are recognizing that. Exactly.

Let's break into a role play here, Michelle. We just finished a business meeting with other colleagues and I asked you many questions during that meeting, right? So that might have felt kind of intense. Now we're having a little private chat just one-on-one after the meeting.

Okay. Here we go. I apologize for all the questions back there. I didn't mean to grill you. Oh, it's okay. I understand that the contract terms were super confusing.

Is everything clear now? Yes, thank you. And again, sorry for the third degree. I hope I didn't come off as too aggressive. Oh, no, you're fine. I'm happy to clear up the confusion.

I appreciate that. Very nice exchange. Yeah. And most of the time, if you stand behind your work, you should be okay answering questions. It's just like, is there a tone of meanness there, right?

I think if we're apologizing here, then there's not, right? It's just that the person needs to know and you stand behind your work and so you answer the questions, right? We can keep it professional here, right? Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. So this was great. So you said, I apologize for all the questions back there. And then you said, I didn't mean to grill you. And then I said, and sorry, again, for the third degree.

Right. Yeah. And then it was great. You know, I was very receptive. And I think I also made you feel better by telling you, oh, no, it was like, you know, basically, I'm saying I didn't see it that way.

I wasn't feeling that way. Yeah, exactly. I love it. And I mean, the takeaway here is it is okay to ask people for more information about their work, especially if many of us have dependencies at work.

We need that person's report to go take it and present it to these people, right? Or it's going to back up our product or something that we need to be sure it's correct. That's totally okay to ask questions. Yeah.

But it's just a matter of like, if you feel like maybe you've given the wrong impression, it's been too intense for someone later on. It's always nice to just check in and offer a little apology. Maybe. Yeah.

Right. Exactly. All right, Lindsay. Well, this has been a lot of fun. I'm glad we talked about this. This is huge connection skill. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.

All right. Sounds good, Michelle. Talk soon. Bye. All right. Bye. Thank you for listening to Business English, a podcast just for you, the high achieving global professional.

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