AEE: Feeling Stressed? 4 Ways to Express it in English

This is the All Ears English podcast. Feeling stressed? Four ways to express it in English. Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.

Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA.

when everything is going wrong you might actually have an amazing opportunity for connection today we'll share four phrases that are perfect to share that nothing is going right

Hello, Lindsay. How are you? Good. I'm doing great, Aubrey. I have a quick question for you today. You ready? Yeah, let's hear it. So do you only connect generally with friends about positive things?

Definitely not. Some of the best ways that I bond with someone is about the difficult times we both had or if a day is going terribly. I want to share that. Yes.

Exactly. I mean, me too. I'm the same way. So today we're sharing an episode from our Business English podcast where we taught how to express that everything is simply going wrong, right?

So this was focused on things going wrong at work, but we use all of these phrases in our daily lives as well. So if we're learning English for work or for daily life, this episode will be super useful for our listeners. Exactly. You never know when things are going to go poorly, right?

Maybe at work, maybe with family or friends. And this is a great way to show vulnerability and build connection. So if you missed that episode, you might not be following this, our other podcast. So take a second right now, open your search bar and type in the Business English Podcast by All Ears English.

You'll see our signature bright yellow square and hit follow so you don't miss these great episodes. Yes, Aubrey, over there on Business English, we do three new episodes a week. It's all three of us, Michelle, Aubrey, and Lindsay, all three of your favorite co-hosts are also over there on Business English. So come join us and get tips on how to build relationships in English at work.

Exactly. And we're excited to share one of those episodes with you here today. So let's hear the episode. Yes. Hey, Michelle, how are you? Hi, Aubrey.

I'm good. I'm good. Oh my gosh, I just had a really rough morning today. It was really hard getting everyone out the door. And have you ever just had a really bad morning?

Yes. The other day, I think I shared about this on the Allers English podcast. I'll be brief in case I shared it here. But my son had gone to school. And when he got there, he immediately came back.

And then you remember this and I was confused why he didn't call and it turned out there was a whole thing at school with a teacher and it really threw things off. I needed to get him to school and then I had to meet with the principal and I was supposed to be picking up my other daughter and I had a me like everything. And then to cap it all off, I forgot about the time change because it wasn't that long ago that we switched from mountain to Pacific. And so I totally missed a meeting because I was off by an hour.

So it was a hot mess. That was not my best day. Oh, no. Yeah. That's yeah, that's rough. You guys noticed I said to cap it all off. That means and another problem sort of like the cherry on the top, the frosting on the cake to cap it all off.

Yeah. I missed this meeting because I messed up the time difference. Yeah. Uh-huh. All right. So today we are answering a listener question. Now, this listener didn't provide their name, but I want to read the question and thank that listener for asking it.

It says, It says actually to cap it all while reading recently. Can you explain its usage and are there any similar expressions? Thank you very much. Thank you so much.

Great question. And yeah, as mentioned, so this listener wrote to cap it all. The full phrase is to cap it all off. Like... For example, my alarm didn't go off.

Then I missed the bus. And to cap it all off, I forgot my bag. Exactly. It's sort of like the final thing in a string of terrible things. We don't use this positively.

We don't say like, I got a promotion and that and to cap it all off. i won the lottery would you say it positively like that michelle interesting i guess you could i think it does have more of a like kind of stressed out connotation to it but i think it could be interesting it is more often used negatively but that didn't feel that off to me i feel like we could say to cap it all off yeah this other amazing thing happened

But this is great for work situations because it adds personality without sounding unprofessional. It's a way of listing bad things, for example, that happen, but it doesn't sound so whiny or negative, right? It's playful. It's fun.

Right. Right. So today we are going to explain the exact meaning, when to use it, and we will provide some similar phrases. So guys, make sure that if you haven't already, please hit the follow button wherever you're listening to the Business English Podcast so you never miss anything from us.

Yeah. So to cap it all off, this means this is a way to introduce the final problem in a series of bad events as if like if everything wasn't bad enough, here's one more thing that made everything worse. So how do we use it at work, Michelle? I use this a lot.

I like this phrase. Yeah, I like it too. So it's really good for explaining a stressful day to a co-worker. So you might say something like, the system kept crashing.

I couldn't access my files. And to cap it all off, the internet went down right before my meeting. Exactly. Or to tell a story to a co-worker. My flight was delayed.

The hotel lost my reservation. And to cap it all off, my luggage didn't arrive until the next day. And it just makes it fun, right? It adds kind of drama to the story.

Right. Right. It does. Or it's really good when you want to explain a frustrating work situation. So, the report was delayed, the numbers were incorrect, and to cap it all off, the client requested last-minute changes.

Right. Exactly. So it sort of goes, problem, problem, and to cap it all off, final problem. And that final problem doesn't have to necessarily be worse than everything else.

These aren't necessarily, right? It's kind of just three problems. And we just say to cap it all off, this other bad thing happened. Yeah, but it's like all compounding on one another.

So it's like getting worse and worse and worse. So you might say, but we were short staffed at the restaurant, the food deliveries didn't arrive. And to cap it all off, we were fully booked. So this is someone working a restaurant, and they're like, all these bad things happen.

And you could say these in any order. Right, right, right. Exactly. So you can also start the sentence when the other person already knows about your other problems.

So let's do a mini role play here. You want to start us off, Aubrey? Yes. That client is harder to work with than we imagined. I know. And to cap it all off, they're asking for a discounted rate.

So that's interesting. Yeah, we are sharing this knowledge. We're seeing, you know, we're commenting on it. And then I'm just using it to say, and also this.

Yeah. Exactly. Yep. Yep. We would often use it this way at work just to kind of share. It's not so overly negative and critical. It's just kind of like, and also this, right?

Right. But yeah, it's appropriate to use this phrase in conversations with coworkers or casual meetings, but I wouldn't say you're going to be using it that much like in work emails or professional presentations. Yeah. I agree.

For a couple of reasons. We've talked about before how work emails, we want to be concise. We're not using idiomatic language and words, expressions like this that have more words because we're trying to use as little, as few words as possible in an email. So I wouldn't write this in an email.

And then professional presentations, it depends, right? It might feel a little bit casual, but if you, in your presentation, if you are starting with pain points, you're saying like your clients are experiencing this pain point, this point, and to cap it all off, this other pain point, that actually might be perfect in a presentation. So it really depends on how you're using it.

Yes. All right. Let's talk about some similar phrases, Michelle. First of all, to top it all off. So, so similar. We're just replacing cap with top. And this is more common though.

I think I say to top it all off more often than cap it all off. What about you? 50-50. More common in the West, I think. I definitely hear this and say this more where I live in the Western USA.

Yeah. This reminds me of, I think we did an episode of All Ears English way back, like to add insult to injury. Way, way back, if you guys don't want to search for that one.

But yeah, so to top it all off. So for example, the system crashed, and we couldn't get online. And to top it all off, we were supposed to be live streaming a new product launch.

Or we missed the deadline, the client wasn't happy. And to top it all off, we had to redo the entire project. Yeah. And you could say, I do love that phrase.

And to add insult to injury, we had to redo the entire project. That would be a perfect use for that. Hopefully you guys can go back and find that one. Fun, idiomatic way to say that.

Absolutely. Or the second one is on top of everything else. So, and this adds another problem to an already difficult situation. So for example, we're already running late and on top of everything else, there's terrible traffic.

Yes. Or the supplier is being difficult to work with. And on top of everything else, they're increasing their prices. Yeah. So this is great. It just, like you were saying, it's compounding, right?

We're feeling the weight of the first thing wouldn't have been so bad by itself. But then when we're adding these others on top of everything else, too much, even worse. Yep.

And then the third one, as if that weren't enough. And this is interesting because this is the subjunctive mood. So you might hear American English speakers use incorrect grammar actually and say, and if that wasn't enough, not something you'd ever want to correct, but you will hear it because of the subjunctive mood is a very common error in especially American English, also British English, actually. But what this means is as if the previous problems weren't enough, here's another one that made it even worse.

Yeah, so this can be, you know, this is a little bit more dramatic. It's used really a lot for storytelling. It is casual. And then, yeah, you can just stick to casual conversations with co-workers you're comfortable with.

Exactly. That's perfect for this. Yeah. Again, don't use it in emails. It's too wordy. You want to get the point across in an email usually, right? But conversation at the happy hour break rooms, no break rooms at happy hour and like lunch when you're meeting for lunch, somewhat like a casual situation.

This is perfect to add a little bit of drama to your stories. All of these phrases add interest and engagement and make you a better storyteller. Right? Yeah, exactly.

I love that. So should we read these examples? Yeah, here's an example. We had three back to back meetings. And as if that weren't enough, we had to prepare a deck by the end of the day.

Ooh. Or we had issues with the supplier all week and if that weren't enough, they suddenly changed the delivery date. Uh-oh. Yeah, that's exactly right.

It's bad enough without this and now something else as if that weren't enough or if that weren't bad enough, then this other thing. All right, Michelle, let's do a role play and use a few of these here. We are co-workers, but also work friends. So we know each other pretty well.

And we're having a casual conversation toward the end of the workday. I'll start us out. Okay. Hey, how's your day going? Honestly, not great. I'm not feeling 100%.

And my day was packed with back to back meetings. Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I know. And to cap it all off, I didn't have time to prepare for the client call.

Oh, that is super stressful. Yeah, and the client asked for a bunch of changes, so I'll be working late tonight. Oh my gosh, that is a tough day. And as if that weren't enough, we're also leaving for the business trip in the morning.

Oh, that's right. Oh gosh, you're going to need a vacation after this. Wow, that does sound like a lot of stress. It does sound like a lot, right? But this does happen.

You'll have conversations like with us with coworkers. What a great connection moment to use, to be able to be there for that person. And I am making you feel comfortable sharing. And then also this and also this, right?

Sometimes you need that person. You need to be able to vent a little bit. Oh my gosh, of course. We all need that. Let's go through this. You first said, and to cap it all off,

I didn't have time to prepare for the client call. So you're already sharing. You've got these back-to-back meetings. Things are going terribly to cap it all off.

This other thing, I didn't have time to prepare for the call. And I kind of love, pay attention to the way I responded as well. You can be too abrupt if you're just like, oh, too bad. Oh, that's stressful, right?

Kind of need, you get a little more, be a human, be a real person and make sure they know that you're listening and you have empathy, sympathy and empathy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then, yeah, so like you did here, you said, gosh, that is a tough day.

And then I said, and as if that weren't enough, excuse me, we're also leaving for the business trip in the morning. Yes. And remember, you may hear an American English speaker say as if that wasn't enough. That is just a minor error with subjunctive mood that's very common in the States and in a lot of English speaking countries.

I wouldn't correct someone. I think that would be... And a lot of people who say it don't even realize they're making a grammar error or they might realize it and they're doing it on purpose because everyone else where they live does it. So just don't worry about it if you hear an error with subjunctive. But the correct grammar is this, as if that weren't enough, we're also leaving for this business trip in the morning.

Right, right, right. Exactly. Oh, man, I hope this person gets a break. Seriously, me too. Awesome. You guys, be sure to check out episode 596, To Each Their Own, How to Disagree at Work.

Great phrases in that. You don't want to miss it. Scroll up and check it out. And what a great connection skill here, Michelle, to be that person for someone else if they're sharing this with you, all these terrible things that happened.

And to top it all off, that's where the connection is, making someone feel comfortable venting to you like that and giving them some sympathy and some empathy. We've all been there. So help them know, like, I'm here for you.

You can vent to me. Right. Such a huge skill that is really going to make you closer to your coworkers. This is really important. People need to feel like they can talk, you know, that they can vent.

So very, very important stuff here. Good. I'm glad we talked about this today. And thank you again to that listener for that great question. And Aubrey, I'll see you next time.

Yes. Awesome. See you guys next time. Bye. All right. Bye, guys. Lindsay, I think my favorite of these phrases is as if that weren't enough. I love to say this after sharing a few things that went wrong.

It really adds some drama and interest when you're sharing about maybe a terrible day. Yes, as if that weren't enough. I love that one too. And also I love the phrase to top it all off.

I mean, we can see exactly how these are useful in our daily lives as well. So maybe, for example, a date was canceled or your sister was late to meet you or you got a fender bender. The phrase to top it all off really works in that case. Exactly.

And to top it all off, I tripped and sprained my ankle. Exactly. Right. It's like the cherry on top of the cake. Yeah. A little something more. Yeah, exactly.

And we do connect most easily when we admit that we're human, right? Not everything in our lives is perfect. We can share that because whoever we're talking to feels the same, right? Then we feel more human.

We feel that bond. Guys, don't forget to follow the Business English podcast. Wherever you listen to this show, like Aubrey said, just open your search bar, find Business English and hit follow. You don't want to miss any of our amazing episodes over there.

Yes, we'll see you guys over there. Thanks, Lindsay. All right. Thanks, Aubrey. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level?

Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.