AEE 2707: Worried, Nervous, or Anxious? What’s the Difference?

This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2707. Worried, nervous, or anxious? What's the difference? Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.

Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American hosts, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer. coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android.

Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slash app. In English, can you say that you are a worried person? Find out today and get key connection skills to talk about the universal feeling of being worried, nervous, or anxious.

Sometimes English learners think their problem is vocabulary, but often the issue is something deeper. It's hesitation. You pause to translate. You pause to check grammar.

You pause to search for the perfect word. Those small pauses add up and interrupt the natural flow of conversation. You can respond with ease without constantly analyzing every sentence. Our free two-minute fluency quiz will show you your current level and what skills you need to improve.

Go to allearsenglish.com slash fluency score. That's allearsenglish.com slash f-l-u-e-n-c-y-s-c-o-r-e. Hello, Lindsay. How are you today? Good, Aubrey.

Not feeling too, too nervous today. What about you? Are you anxious today? No, I'm not normally a very anxious, nervous person. What about you, Lindsay?

Since I had a kid about six months ago now, I've become a little more nervous, I guess. It definitely taps into your anxiety. Oh, for sure. Parents, you have so much more to be worried about.

So much more to stress over. For sure. Well, you recently went on a trip and took the baby, right? So that you've seen how travel can be so much more, you know, can have a lot of anxiety about things happening, things going wrong.

It's harder with a baby. Oh, it's harder. Yeah. I think I haven't heard a scream at the level that we heard until now when he was hungry, you know, he stopped for food and he was starving the travel scream.

Right. So, yep. Yep. It's always, I've experienced that. There's no hunger, like being hungry while traveling. It's true. It's true. Hangar. Right. Well, that's what we're getting into today.

So anxiety, being anxious, being nervous. Tell us about this topic today, Aubrey. Yeah, this is interesting. So we have heard a common student error that is to say, I'm a worried person, which makes sense because we just say I'm worried, right?

So why can't we say I'm a worried person? This is a common mistake. We're excited to dive into a The grammar here, what is up with these adjectives? Why can you say, you know, I'm a blank person or not?

This will be good. Oh, this is great. And this is so important for connection because obviously these are relatable feelings. All of us, whether we're a nervous person, an anxious person or not, you feel this at certain times in your life, right?

Anxiety, nervousness. So we can relate to this. Okay. Exactly. Absolutely. And this is more and more, especially a really good way to connect in English.

Once upon a time, generations ago, we didn't talk about so much things that we were worried about, things we felt anxiety over. But more and more we do. We're more open. People are more open about if they are seeing a therapist, what they feel anxiety about.

So this is more and more a great way to connect with people. No, that's a good point. You know, maybe even, for example, maybe even 10 years ago when we started this podcast, people may not have been talking about that as much.

That's true. Not even generations ago, just like a decade ago. That's true. Good point. Fascinating. Guys, hit follow or hit subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube, which you could be.

Make sure you are subscribed to our All Ears English YouTube channel. We love to approach English from a vantage point of connection. Every episode helps you create stronger connections because ultimately that's what creates a happier life.

So that's why we're here as a show. Exactly. Yes. So hit follow wherever you listen to podcasts. We are excited for you to learn English with us and build fluency.

And something like this, it's fascinating to get into these little errors that we can definitely understand how this happens. It seems like you should be able to say this, right? I know. It seems like you should.

Right. It seems like you should, but you can't, Aubrey. Why not? Yeah. So when we say it this way, it sounds like we're describing a personality trait, but worried isn't a word that describes someone's character or identity.

It just describes their current feeling or state. They feel something bad will happen. So you can say, I'm worried, or you could say, I'm a worrier. And that's more talking about your personality.

If you're a person that is often worried, tends to worry. But just the word worried, we don't use this way. Yep. Yep. So we can say, I am worried in that given moment.

And then you're going to give a little bit more context, right? I'm worried about my test, right? He's worried about the test. Or again, like you said, our cat is missing.

We're really worried. Yes. Exactly. Right? So the worry is happening in a specific moment. It won't last forever. It's not an aspect of your personality.

You're worried in this moment about something. So that's something specific. It's not a general feeling. It's not a character trait, right? It's not how you are.

It's how you are again in that moment. It's an experience. Okay. Exactly. Let's show a couple of mini role plays here where we do how we do use worried, right?

That's the current feeling or state. Yeah. I'll start us out. What's up? You seem worried. Oh, I am. My tooth hurts. I'm worried that I have a cavity.

Okay. Oh, not good. Have you ever had a cavity? So this is just worry in the moment, right? This doesn't make you a person who is prone to anxiety. Exactly.

Did you say you've never had a cavity? No, I asked you, have you ever had a cavity? I've had cavities. You're saying you've never had a cavity. I was like, that's impressive.

I hate sugar, of course. No, no, no. Right? Same. And I do think certain people are prone to have cavities, like depending on your enamel, your genes.

Sure, sure. I always would go to the dentist and just had a mouthful of cavities and I would brush and floss and I just still got cavities so easily. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. So that's something to be worried about for sure. And then we could also be worried about a noun or a situation. So for example, I worry or am worried about my kids, money, the future, my job, all those things, any of those things.

Yes. Yeah. This is happening to me more and more because I have my daughter who's entering college. She is a worrier. She tends to worry. So she's worried about classes and

making sure she's registered and paid, right? And this will happen sometimes where someone's worry will rub off on you, right? So now I'm a little more anxious because she's worried, but I'm sure it'll all be fine. Anxiety is totally contagious.

Totally contagious. Absolutely. Yes. Or we'll also say worried that, and then this would be followed by a clause about the specific situation. For example, she's worried that it'll rain on her wedding day, or they're worried that their son won't get into a good college.

This reminds me of an episode we recorded just earlier this week with yesterday's episode about that, because for both of these, you could drop that. You could. Yeah, guys, go out and check out that episode. That was episode number, I think, 2706, Aubrey.

Was that what that was? Yes, 2706. If you missed it. Listen to the end here, but then scroll up and check that one out. This was really interesting. Why do we sometimes drop that?

And these two examples that we just gave, you could say them with or without the that. You could say she's worried it'll rain on her wedding day. Yeah. The key to understanding that is just listening to a lot of native English and then, as we said, mirroring.

But go check out that episode, guys. We can also use, Aubrey, the word worry in the verb form, the active verb form, to worry. Exactly. Yeah. So for example, here's a little role play.

Lindsay, what is something you worry about? Oh, I often worry about finding a new home, like a new place to live, where we're going to live next. It's a little bigger, space for the baby. Yeah, space for the baby.

Exactly, exactly. So that's just this active form of the verb, what do you worry about? And this is instead of what is something you are worried about, it's just a different grammar structure that's a little bit less general and more like in this moment, what is something you worry about? And you mentioned your daughter is kind of a worrier, right?

We can say that too. My dad used to use the phrase worrywart. He would say, don't be a worrywart. Yes. That's a fun expression. A little dated, I think now.

And this is where it is more of a character trait, right? Someone who worries a lot, that is more of a personality trait. So instead of saying, I'm a worried person and saying it that way, like a character trait, instead we'd say this, I'm a worrier.

Or I tend to worry a lot. Either of those would work. Or I'm a worrywart, like you said. That's a fun one. You could say that self-deprecatingly, right, to yourself?

Yeah, definitely. Sure, sure. Have you ever listened to native speakers and thought, I understand the words, but I still feel slightly lost? That's because real English conversations include more than vocabulary.

There's speed. There's connected speech. There are cultural references and casual phrases, and Your brain has to process all of this in real time. If conversations sometimes feel overwhelming, it may simply mean you're ready for the next level of training.

Find out your exact level with our quick, free fluency quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com slash fluency score. That's allearsenglish.com slash F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E.

All right. So if we're talking about someone's personality trait, I mean, how can we describe someone who worries a lot? Let's go outside just the word worried, right? Yeah.

We could also say that someone's an anxious person, right? So anyone who has ongoing or frequent feelings of worry or anxiety, this is a deeper meaning than worry to use anxiety, right? It's more internal, more ongoing and persistent, that feeling of unease and So it is interesting how there are different levels here.

Worry is the less serious of these words. It is. It is for sure. Probably if you go to a therapist, they might be more likely to use the word anxiety.

It also feels like more of a condition at times in some ways, right? Longer term condition in some cases. Yeah. But the word anxious is more flexible than worried, right?

You can use it to talk about a current feeling or state or as a personality trait. You could say I'm anxious about the meeting. She's feeling anxious. Or you could say I'm an anxious person.

Yes, for sure. And then a nervous person is someone who gives off that nervous energy. They might look noticeably uncomfortable a lot of times. They might bite their nails, for example, right?

Exactly. Often you can see the signs of nervousness, right? Yes. always a personality trait either. This might be the situation. If you have to give a speech, you might say you feel nervous.

You wouldn't necessarily say you feel anxiety. This is more about a specific situation. I'm just feeling nervous right now. It's interesting to think about how this could be different culturally though.

So we see signs of nervousness being like you're fidgety or maybe you're moving your leg when you're sitting, you're avoiding eye contact, you're speaking awkwardly, but that might not be the case in other cultures. It could be different signs. That's a really good point, right?

For every culture, there will be different signs. Some cultures might not make as much eye contact and it might have nothing to do with whether a person's nervous or not. Exactly. Exactly.

What else do we need to know here, Aubrey? Yeah. For nervous, it's less about a specific worry and more about the overall energy. Just kind of like, oh, I just feel nervous sort of in general overall, rather than being worried about something specific.

Yeah. But I feel like there's a lot of just outside of the lines. I mean, I twitch my foot a lot when I'm sitting cross-legged, but I don't think I'm that nervous of a person. Do you twitch your foot?

I do or I'll bounce my leg. Like I'll bounce my leg and someone will set their hand on it like, please stop. I don't feel like I'm nervous or anxious. I just am...

I don't know. You just want to move physically, right? That might be part of it. I'm having a hard time sitting still. Right. And then I don't like when people are like, oh, you're a nervous person.

You're twitching your leg. You're biting your nails. Maybe it's not about that. I don't know. It's more about wanting to move, not liking sitting still.

Kind of. Yeah. So nervous is also kind of flexible, Aubrey, right? Again, it could be about a temporary situation. Like when are the times you get most nervous?

Maybe on dates. I get so nervous on dates, right? Or maybe talking about someone's, in general, his hands shake when he's nervous. That happens to me.

If I am nervous, then I'll get a tremor in my hands. And then it's hard. You're trying to hide them because you don't want people to see the physical signs of it. Oh, interesting.

Do your hands get sweaty? Do you get like clammy hands? No. They don't get clammy. They just will like shake noticeably. Like it's bad. I'm wondering if this happens to you or if it's just me.

It's probably everyone. But I feel like when I'm nervous, sometimes I forget to swallow. And so I like choke a little bit. I don't know if it's just me, but I've heard other people do it.

Like it's this weird. That makes sense. Like you swallow too late. And it's just the words come out weird. It kind of affects the way your words come out and you have to kind of start over.

Oh, interesting. It makes sense, right? There are all these little physical signs or attribute that and it's different for everyone, different in different cultures and different for different people. Yeah, it's really interesting.

So guys, being able to articulate this is a great connection skill, right? As we said at the beginning of the episode, I mean, think about these little, go beyond the cliches, right? Public speaking, of course, makes many people nervous, but what are some other scenarios that make you nervous? And what are the weird things you do?

Like I stopped swallowing. Yeah. You know, and Aubrey twitches something interesting for you. Yeah. Yeah. Really interesting. So role play time, Aubrey.

Yeah, let's do it. We are classmates here chatting about a mutual friend and classmate, Claire. Do you want to start us out? All right, here we go. I'm worried about Claire.

We have that big test coming up. We were supposed to study together, but she never called me back. Are you sure it's something worth worrying about? She does like her space and she's pretty bad at communication.

True, true. Plus, she's done this before. She gets nervous before a big exam. She could just be hibernating and cramming. I get that. And I know I'm an anxious person in general.

Hopefully I'm just overreacting. Yeah, I have class with her today. I can let you know if she shows up and tell her to call you. Yes, please do. Thank you.

Okay. Interesting. Yeah. You can really see how people connect about this. Like you're worried about a friend and then you're recognizing, you know, I'm just an anxious person.

Let's go through this. You first said, I'm worried about Claire. So this is where, you know, you wouldn't say I have anxiety about Claire because it's about a specific instance, right? I feel worried in this moment.

So I'll say I'm worried about her. That makes sense. Yeah. And then I said, are you sure it's something worth worrying about? Right? Is it worth worrying about?

Yeah, this is interesting. So maybe I know you well, and I know that you do have a tendency to worry before there's real reason to, right? So then I'm sort of saying like, maybe you shouldn't be worried. We know that she often, you know, she's done this before, I'm sure.

Yes. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And then I said, oh, that's true. That's a good point, right? And then you said? I said she gets nervous before a big exam.

She could just be hiding and cramming, right? I said hibernating. Sometimes we'll use that word to mean just wanting to be alone. And so, yeah, this is perfect.

Just getting nervous before a test wouldn't make her, this wouldn't necessarily have anything to do with her personality. She's just feeling nerves about something specific. Exactly. And then I said, I get it.

And I know I'm an anxious person in general, so I'm acknowledging how I am, right? Hopefully I'm just overreacting. I'm an anxious person, so I'm jumping to conclusions sometimes, like thinking the worst.

And if you are an anxious person, you could kind of project that someone else is anxious or something, right? Yeah. That can happen too, for sure. Yeah.

Because you know that's how you would be feeling in that moment, right? Exactly. Exactly. Great topic today, Aubrey. I'm glad we got into this. Yes, this is such a great topic for connection because we're admitting vulnerability, right?

We're admitting that we're human. Everyone has felt nervous. Even if you're not an anxious person in general, there have been times where you feel worried. So this is really a great way to connect because we all have this in common.

Yeah. No one is above this. A hundred percent. Great connection skill. Guys, go over to 2610 walk or work. Three pronunciation mistakes to avoid with Dave Nichols.

That was a guest episode, Aubrey, that you did. So excited to hear that. That was such a fun interview. Go check that out. You can learn from Dave Nichols.

He has a great YouTube channel. So yeah, check that one out if you missed it. All right. Good stuff. We'll see you next time. Have a good day. You too.

Thanks guys. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score.

And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.