AEE 2669: What's the Difference Between Older and Elder in English?

This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2669. What's the difference between older and elder in English? Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English?

We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.

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On today's episode, we answer a listener question about the difference between the words older and elder. How do you know the difference and which is more commonly used? Find out today. Hello, Michelle.

How are you? Hi, Aubrey. I'm doing well. How are you? I have a question for you. How do you feel about getting older? Oh, it's an interesting feeling.

I mean, I still, yeah, it's bittersweet, right? I feel, you know, I do feel more confident in myself. I feel like I've had more experiences. I'm stronger.

So I like that piece of it. But obviously, I don't want to get... No one wants the poor health that sometimes comes with getting older. There are a lot of downsides, but I love that to think about the positives as well.

I was just listening to a podcast about Toni Morrison's novels, and they were pointing out that a lot of us read one or two of her novels, maybe all of them in college, before we had a ton of life experience. She was talking about how so much of those novels is so much more meaningful after you have maybe had children or lived some life experience. Maybe you've experienced loss or love. And she was like, go back and read them again.

They're going to be so much more meaningful. So now I'm excited. I'm going to go back and read all of the Toni Morrison novels. And I'm excited to experience them again now that I've lived some life, you know.

So there's perks to getting older. For sure. For sure. So we actually have a question about the word older. And this is from YouTube. Zachary from China sent this to us.

So I'm going to read the question. So here we go. Hello, I'm Zachary from China. Ever since my friend recommended your show to me, I've been checking for updates every morning as soon as I wake up.

The content is just so amazing. Oh my gosh, I love that so much. I love the idea of our listeners because I do that with podcasts sometimes. If I know they release a new one on Monday, I like first thing Monday morning, I can't wait to check and listen to the new episode.

And I love that. Listeners out there have the same experience for All Ears English and our other podcasts. That is so fun. Thank you for letting us know, Zachary.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Thank you so much. So now Zachary says, I can't quite tell the difference between older and elder. In my mind, it seems like I can use older to describe anything that's a bit older, and I'm not sure where elder should be used.

Would you mind helping to explain this? Okay. Yeah. Great question, Zachary. Thank you for listening. And thanks for your question. This is a good one.

So yeah, older and elder sound very similar. Yeah. And they have some overlapping meaning, but older is used much more often. So today we're going to explain why that is, and we will describe the meaning of each and how to use them naturally.

But first, we want to remind you to hit the follow button, right, Aubrey? Yes, exactly. Wherever you are listening, hit follow right here on All Ears English. And we also want to give a quick shout out to some other listeners who left us a review on Spotify.

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And yeah, leave us a rating or review wherever you listen, and we will try to give you a shout out right here on the podcast. Absolutely. Love it. All right.

So let's get into this. So older and elder can both be used to describe something or someone that's older, but older is much more flexible and elder has some more limited uses. Wouldn't you say, Aubrey? Oh, yeah.

We would never I wouldn't call my phone elder, but it is older. It's like an old generation iPhone. The battery doesn't last very long. It doesn't have the very good camera because I'm refusing to upgrade until it actually breaks.

So it's an older phone, but I could not call it an elder phone. So this is going to be interesting to dive into when we use them. So first, older. Older is an adjective.

It can be used to describe people, things, ideas, or time. It's quite flexible, right? I might say my older brother. This is an older house. And it's sort of relative-

I'm saying it's maybe older than the other houses on the street. Right. But then with brother, I'm just saying he's older than me. So it's always in relation to something else.

Right. Exactly. Exactly. An older way of thinking, older traditions. So let's talk about how we can use it in a sentence. So it can come before a noun.

So for example, my older brother is visiting or do you have older siblings? And it can also come after a verb. Right. So she looks older. He is older.

And what about with then, Aubrey? Yeah, this is really tricky. We do not use it with then, right? Wait, older. Oh, I've jumped down to elder. You tell us, Michelle.

Okay, okay, okay. So it can be used. This older can be used with then for comparison. So, for example, he is older than me. Um, but let's, I'm glad you cut me off because that is a really important distinction, right?

Of course, that is older with then we're comparing two things, right? My phone is surely older than yours, Michelle. Yes. My TV is older than my friends, right?

We're always comparing things when we use the word older. And that is one of the main differences between elder and older here. So let's dive into elder, where I had jumped ahead. So thank you for saving me.

You're like, wait, wait, wait. I was like, wait a second. Incorrect information here. Elder is different. It's an adjective, also meaning older, but it's much more rare and much more specific, the context we use it, right?

We only use it before a noun. So I could say my elder sister. This is a little less common, but I could say this. My elder sister is so kind. And this just is an adjective, meaning she is older than me.

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, you're not going to use this after verbs. And as Aubrey mentioned, you're not going to use this with then. But when can you use elder?

Yeah, so we only use it when talking about people. An elder member of the tribe, right? And it's used most commonly with family, my elder sister, his elder son, this is when it's most common. It does sound very formal and archaic.

It's not nearly as commonly used. It's actually often a title for a religious calling, a In some churches, they'll call someone an elder in their priesthood, an elder in some kind of position in the church. So you might hear it that way associated with religions as well.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. So it sounds pretty formal or archaic and just not commonly used. So when in doubt, use the word older to describe things that are a bit older.

So again, older sister and elder sister, they're correct. Yeah. But elder sisters just sounds too formal and just not very natural. So I would stick with older.

Yes, I agree. You might hear this in older TV shows, for example. Don't say elder TV shows, right? Only about people. But you might hear someone say, and then of course we have, you know, old, it's really mostly about TV shows, really, that you would hear this.

But I agree. I wouldn't use it much currently in conversation because it just sounds a bit formal. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So, but we will see elder in other situations.

So, as a noun, it's an older, respected person with some sort of leadership role in the community. So, that goes along with what Aubrey said, right? The church elders or... tribal elders, village elders, community elders.

Using it as a noun, it's not super common, but you might hear about community elders, but only when talking about those specific communities in a formal way or reading older books, maybe watching older

shows. And it's interesting. It's not always about age, which is strange. So for some of those church leaders, sometimes it'll be a young person and they're like, oh, my name is Elder Smith or something.

And it's like, but you're not old. That seems strange. But it's just like a title in something for like a religion. So don't let that confuse you. But yeah, it still does sort of seem old fashioned.

And that even is coming from older traditions, right? Yeah. So, but this is interesting. I think one of the ways I use this most commonly is there's sort of this old fashioned phrase, like respect your elders, listen to your elders.

And I still will say that sometimes, right? And maybe a little more teasingly, like if my kids are not listening to me and I'm like, no snacks, and they'll talk back to me and I'm like, respect your elders. And I mean, like, listen to me because I'm mom and I'm older and I'm the boss. Right.

Yeah, definitely respect your elders. You'll hear that one. And you also might hear elderly. So this is an adjective or a noun. So people who are older, like senior citizens.

So it's more polite and formal than old people and more common than elder. So for example... This I think is the most common in English, the way we'll hear elder is this...

Elderly as the adjective or a noun, you know, respect the elderly, and it is so much more polite. I feel much more comfortable being like, oh, we're going to go visit the elderly at this nursing home, instead of the other alternative, which would be like, we're going to go visit some old people. It sounds so harsh and brusque. Yes, really avoid saying it.

Yeah. So, for example, he helped the elderly man cross the street with an adjective or the community provides special care for the elderly. So that's a noun.

Should we do a role play? Yeah, let's do it. You and I are friends here and I just went to visit my grandma. Ah, okay. So here we go. So how's your grandma doing?

Oh, she's doing well, but she's definitely getting older. We're starting to think about extra support. That's tough. What are your options? Well, either she moves in with family or into an assisted living community.

I've heard some of those places are actually pretty great. They really take care of the elderly. Yeah, exactly. I want somewhere she can really thrive and feel genuinely respected.

Of course. I think older generations aren't respected enough. Some countries really value their elders and see them as a source of wisdom. Exactly. I want a place that really embodies that attitude.

Do you know what this reminds me of, Michelle? Have you seen the movie Remarkably Bright Creatures? It's new on Netflix with Sally Field. No, I want to read it.

I want to read the book. Oh, yes. I haven't read the book yet. I need to read it, but I highly recommend it for everyone out there. Maybe read the book first and then watch the film and

It's different. It's a very different film. It's right in the beginning, this octopus is narrating. But it's really about these people, a woman who works at this aquarium.

And it's a lot about this. She's getting older. And she's trying to decide whether to check herself into assisted living. She doesn't have children. And it's a lot about like, do we respect our elders?

And it's here in the United States, which sometimes does get a bad rap for not respecting others, especially someone who doesn't have grandchildren that love them and are taking care of them. So like, how are they supported by the community? How are there, you know, what is it like building relationships and friendships?

So I highly recommend that film if you haven't seen it yet, Remarkably Bright Creatures on Netflix. I want to read it. Okay. Yes, I will. I will. Let's go through the role play here.

Yes. So I was talking about my grandma. I said she's definitely getting older. And this is interesting because we try to avoid calling someone old and just saying like she's unoldly.

We would say she's elderly. But we will say this like she's getting older. She's getting on in years. Like there are these nice ways instead of saying she's getting old.

This is more kind. This is more polite to use one of these other phrases. Yeah. um and then i said they really care uh oh of the elderly i think they take care take take care oh my god hello they take care of the elderly the elderly as a noun exactly and that yeah this this is important if you are looking for an assisted living center

You would like to hope that all of them take care of the elderly. But I know we've seen in films sometimes that that's not the case. So you of course, we would always want to like, look into a place and vet it to make sure. Yeah.

Yeah. And then you said, I think older generations aren't respected enough in our country, right? Some countries really do. I've talked to a lot of our students in open conversation club about this.

You know, a lot of them, their parents will live with them and be more of a part of their lives. And in the States, that's not quite as common. Yeah. And then you said some countries – oh, I said some countries really value their elders and see them as sources of wisdom.

As they should, right? So much life experience, so much wisdom. I loved chatting with my grandma Lova before she passed. She was such a source of wisdom and had so many amazing stories and had lived so much of life.

And so I appreciate that when I learn about a culture that does value their elders. Yeah. And we should. We definitely should. Absolutely. So, guys, if you haven't already, check out episode 2595.

Do you find yourself loving English? So, listen to that one. And then for takeaway for today, simple. When in doubt, default to older, right? That's going to be more common with more flexibility.

Yeah. Now you have some of those phrases, right? Respect your elders or just to say the elderly or the elderly man, the elderly woman. So we really went through it today.

And that was a really great question. Thank you to our listener for that question. And Aubrey, I will see you next time. Yes. Awesome. Thanks, guys. See you next time.

All right. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score.

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