AEE 2663: 4 Ways to Use Sarcasm Like a Pro

This is an All Ears English Podcast, Episode 2663, Four Ways to Use Sarcasm Like a Pro. Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.

To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slash app.

Today, you'll learn four amazing English phrases. Surprise, surprise. We'll share how these can be used to share that something is unexpected in a fun, sarcastic way.

Hello, Michelle. How are you? Hi, Aubrey. I'm doing well. Aubrey, do you like surprises? I love surprises. I am a huge fan of surprises. It is my dream for someone to throw me a surprise party that I don't see coming.

It's yet to happen. Don't tell my husband, but he threw me a surprise party once that I pretended I did not know about, but something happened that gave it away. But I wanted him to be happy that he had surprised me. So I pretended to be surprised.

I've never told him. Are you serious? Hopefully he doesn't hear this episode because he thinks that I was surprised, but I totally knew. Aww. Oh, I can't believe you never told him.

That's pretty. You're strong. I think it would hurt his feelings. He was so excited to have surprised me. And I was just so happy he had tried to surprise me that I was so happy that I was still like, it's not like I was told I was excited that anyone had even tried to surprise me because it's hard to do.

It's hard to pull off a surprise party. Definitely. One day, one day, maybe I'll actually be surprised. Yes, I hope so. So today we're going to talk about a funny little expression with the word surprise.

So just I thought that this was important to just review because, Aubrey, how do we spell surprise? Oh, yeah. There's a silent R there, right? It's S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E. And we don't really say that R. We don't say surprise.

It would be hard to say that. So we kind of say surprise and just ignore that first R. Yeah. I think sometimes native speakers spell this wrong just because you don't hear that R at all. So, yeah.

Interesting. So, guys, remember to hit follow wherever you're listening to the All Ears English podcast or watching us on YouTube so that you never miss anything.

So let's hop to it. So Aubrey, what is the expression for today? It's surprise, surprise. And we usually use really fun intonation like that. I say this a lot.

I hear it a lot. What about you, Michelle? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's what inspired this episode. I probably said it or heard it or yeah.

But this is interesting because what does it actually mean? I mean, is it sarcastic? Is it genuine? What is it? It's very sarcastic. If it's genuine, you're going to say surprise once.

surprise. If you say it twice, and usually with this tone, but like there's just, it's always sarcastic. And it means I'm not at all surprised. I'm going to say surprise, surprise, surprise.

And you have to say it like that. Yes, exactly. So it's not a surprise. In fact, it was quite predictable, actually. And to me, it has almost a little bit, not all

always necessarily, but of a snarky connotation. So I mean, I wouldn't use it about someone unless you're close to them. Or you could use it about yourself or something that isn't a person, right? So it could be offensive.

Yes. Because so for example, when my husband tried to surprise me, and I wasn't actually surprised, I would never have been like surprised. That would be so rude. So rude.

I never would. So yeah, it might be more like if I'm late to coffee, and I'm always late, and it's a close friend, they might be like, surprise, surprise, you're not on time, right? This is expected, but it's playful. Right.

But it could be super rude and hurtful, depending on the context. Exactly. Exactly. So let's do some examples. So here's one. The train is late again.

Surprise, surprise. So you're not going to offend the train. So you can use it. Right, exactly. But if it's like the person who picks you up for work in a carpool, if they're always late, it would be so rude to be like, you're late again.

Surprise, surprise. They'd be like, I'm picking you up. How about you get? Yeah, yeah. Show a little bit of perspective. Traffic was bad. Give me a break.

Yeah. Or here's another one. So again, I said you can use it about yourself. So for example, I can't find my phone again. Surprise, surprise. So it's like a little self-deprecating.

I don't know about you, Michelle, but I'm constantly trying to find my phone lately. I think it's the perimenopausal brain fog. I'm going to admit that. But I...

So the other day, my husband was like, what if you choose like two places in the house to put it? So you always know those are the two places... That you could find it. And my response was, we can you stop trying to fix it and just help me find my phone?

We are late. We need to go. Yeah. That was really good advice. And I need to take it. Because I'm always looking for my phone. Oh, yeah, I got that. Do you ever look up for your phone while you're on the phone?

While I'm holding it? Yeah. Yeah. Like, where is my phone? It's in my hand. Yeah, that's the worst. That's when you have that moment where you realize that you're holding your phone and you're looking for it.

Or I can't find my sunglasses and they're up on my head. Yeah. Yes. It's a humbling moment. It is humbling. That was fun. What just happened there? Yeah.

exactly or here's another one he canceled us on us again surprise surprise so yeah you wouldn't say that to the person but i mean i guess if you're just it depends on the relationship right if it were my brother and we're really close and he's always canceling i might be like oh canceling on me again a surprise surprise Because it's playful. It depends on the relationship and how mean. Because if it's something like my husband, like if he's put a lot of work into the surprise and he's so excited to surprise me, I think the nice thing to do is what I did is to pretend I'm surprised and be so grateful for their effort instead of being like, oh.

It's so interesting how it just depends. Sometimes it could be rude and sometimes it's just playful. Yeah, exactly. So let's do a couple little role plays.

So, all right. Yeah, you can start us out. Oh, gosh, I got caught up, caught up in my work. My boss assigned me a last minute deadline again. Oh, surprise, surprise.

I feel like you should have a talk with him. Yeah, that's a good example, right? If you're venting a lot about someone you're dating or a boss or something, whoever you're venting to is going to start probably like seeing the patterns and losing respect. So they might say something like this.

Surprise, surprise. You're always telling me how frustrated you are with this person. Yeah, exactly. Or here's another one. All right. Which restaurant should we go to?

I kind of made a reservation at Kayla's again. Surprise, surprise. We can't seem to stay away from that place. It's the best. So that's like a positive way.

I mean, you're like, we're kind of making fun of us together. Do you want to go there again? Because it's where you always want to go. And it's not a bad thing.

It's just fun. It's like on Seinfeld. Like they're always we're on Friends. Like they're always going to the same place. Surprise, surprise. I'm finding you here.

Right. Surprise, surprise. We're at Central Park again. Yes, exactly. I mean, Aubrey, are there any examples of who or what you might use this with in your daily life?

Yes. I have made a conscious effort to not be as sarcastic with my children, even though their senses of humor are developing more. There have been times where I would say something like this, sarcastically trying to be playful and it hurts their feelings. So I'm realizing like, I need to wait, like, but it's different if it's friends my age where we have that relationship.

I know they're going to realize like this, there's no hurt in the sarcasm. So it depends so much on so many different things. But my sister, I'm very sarcastic with my sister. Yeah.

So if she were to tell me she's coming to visit and then canceled, I'd be like, surprise, surprise. Like, I'd be like, I didn't even have it in my calendar. That's how much I expected you to cancel. Yeah.

Yep. Yep. Exactly. That's funny. Yeah. For me, I mean, I often have trouble getting my... son to school on time and my neighbor across the street she also does with her child and so what i could i could imagine saying to her because we sometimes will see each other in the drop-off line and then we we always say oh we feel better when we see the other one totally surprise so i could see myself yeah like in the eyes look look who it is right so um yeah that could be good for that situation yes

Okay, Aubrey, so why is this so useful for connection? It's interesting because sometimes when often we use sarcasm, because we are trying to have the tiniest bit of either criticism or pointing out something that someone's doing that's frustrating or annoying, but we're trying to do it in a playful, lighthearted way. where I wouldn't say to them, you are always late to coffee, like an annoyed way, but I might be like, surprise, surprise, you're late again. I'm still pointing it out, but in a lighthearted way that hopefully is not going to hurt the connection.

Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. I mean, yeah, this is, it can be used to commiserate, you know, it can be used to make commentaries on certain issues. I mean, even in the news, right?

Like something happens that is expected from someone, surprise, surprise, this... happen again, try something. But yeah, it can be used commonly to talk about things like habits or quality of something or like I said, the news cycle, self-deprecation. Anything else you think is important to point out?

You know, I'm going to say... Lately, more and more, the patriarchy, which I know is calm, you know, and everyone kind of has different ideals and it's different for every culture. But more and more, I will like point out to a friend, if something happens that I feel is in some way related to the patriarchy also. say, right?

If something happens where I feel like I'm treated with a little bit less respect than I would if I were a man, for example, I might say to a friend, surprise, surprise. And I'm trying not to be upset about it. I'm recognizing I'm not getting upset about people because I recognize we all grew up in the same system. It's just sort of the way it is.

And I'll kind of fight against or push against it a little bit, but I'm recognizing like, it's just kind of, it is what it is a little bit. And this, I might say this, just like surprise, surprise, surprise. Yeah, yeah, that's a good example. Surprise, surprise, the patriarchy exists.

But okay, well, there are here are some things you might also say that have the same feel. So the first one is shocker, or that's a shocker. Yes, right. For example, Tim forgot to bring his lunch to school again.

Shocker, right? Oh, These are so interesting because they can be playful and lighthearted, but they can really come across as brusque. We'll say like kind of rude, really critical.

So I would be careful with all of these. You have to be. Yes, exactly. I feel like I plan a lot of episodes where it's like, oh, but we have to be careful.

Yes, we have to like, we do say this and we will hear this we'll see it on sitcoms but in real life if i knew a mom who often didn't send their kid to school with lunch or whatever and another mom said to me oh tim forgot to bring a school that i would never say to that mom shocker like that's so rude to like make this sort of unspoken criticism of the parenting or that child or whatever and

right but if you were if you were saying it to your if your child had like a constant habit of forgetting something and you always had to drop it off you might say to cole like you know yeah maybe i wouldn't say it to my child or no about another parent or another child but i might say it to my partner just kind of like uh or about myself especially like i forgot to send a lunch with will again shocker i'm saying it about me like red self-deprecating Right. I think self-deprecating is pretty much the most you do it all the time. And then you just sound like you hate yourself.

So we have to be careful about that. Even then we don't want to be too self-deprecating too often. Yeah. I like it figures or just figures. Right. Yeah.

Right. So he didn't feel comfortable giving me his social security number over the phone. Figures. Yeah. So maybe that person's just extra cautious, like, you know, you're just commenting on that.

Or you're saying figures like, oh, I understand. That makes sense. Like, I would do the same. Figures and figures. So figures is interesting. This kind of situation kind of means like, that makes sense.

I would do the same thing. But we could use these pretty interchangeably if someone's like, oh, Tim forgot to bring his skill to figures. That's kind of the same as shocker. I'm saying like, well, that makes sense.

That tracks. That's what I would expect. because it happens a lot right very interesting um all right we'll do one more so this is of course i like this one i use yeah of course she was of course they were yes of course it has right right like um so just i think it's best set with an example um the bus hasn't even left yet of course it hasn't This is, I think, really trendy right now.

It is. I do it a lot. I hear my kids say it a lot. It's very popular, very trendy. I say this quite a bit. I think the last time I said it, my husband will often meet for drinks with a neighbor friend and I couldn't find him.

And then when I got ahold of him, he's like, oh, my friend's having a drink. I was like, of course you are. And there's not really, it's less, I feel like there's less judgment and rude. It's a little more, it's a little cuter.

Right. It's a little more playful. It is a little cuter. Of course you are. Yeah. more kind yeah we could do a whole episode about this one actually because this is really common so maybe we'll come back to it um guys again hit follow wherever you're listening you know what michelle i have an idea be sure to hit follow on the business english podcast because i think we use this a lot at work too so let's do a part two over on business english and share all the times we use of course

course at work like that and also a couple phrases that would be more likely to use in a work situation. So be sure to hit follow both here on Allers English and Business English and we'll do a follow-up over there. Perfect. All right.

That's exciting. Okay. So here in this role play, we are on our way to the airport for a trip. Ooh, where are we going, Michelle? I don't know. Somewhere fun.

Somewhere fun. I'm in. Okay. Let's do it. All right. Oh, man. The flight is delayed. Of course it is. Yeah, should we turn around? No, let's just go and get settled.

Plus, I have tons of things I want to buy at the airport. Surprise, surprise. You know me. Oh, good. Jason just texted me that he didn't pack me my snacks.

That's a shocker. He seems to forget that all the time. Figures. Yep. He's a forgetful one. This is so funny that someone else is supposed to pack you your snacks.

Is he your assistant? He's like your personal assistant. I don't know. I'm thinking of a husband or a B.I. I guess it could be a person either way. It's so funny.

I love it. And this is funny because this is so not me. I hate shopping. I never buy anything at an airport ever. So this is definitely a role play about someone else who is not me.

Yeah. not you all right so i said the flight is delayed and you said of course it is and so this is like uh maybe it's delayed all the time like this is yeah and it's like great luck it's like yeah exactly unexpected but also frustrated yes that's what all of these are you could say any of these figures oh what a shocker because all i mean is like of course it's delayed flights are always delayed and it's so annoying and You know what? I'm realizing, Michelle, this is why there are so many situations where we won't say that because all of these don't just mean that's unsurprising.

It also means that's unsurprising and it's annoying. It's frustrating. There's this underlying current of I find that irritating. And so we'll say it self-deprecating about an airline that's delayed, but we would be careful not to say it about like a child or someone else's child or a parent because that is there.

This underlying current of irritation about it. Yes. Yes. Right. Yes. That's a very good point. Yeah. That's why we're like, why? Why are we? Be careful.

Be careful. This is why there's an implication that you're irritated about that, that this happens a lot. Right. Exactly. That's a good point. I'm glad we figured that out.

And then you said, surprise, like, I'm going to buy all this stuff at the airport. And you know me to be a compulsive shopper. So you say, surprise, surprise, which would work if I constantly like, let's get to the airport an hour early so I can buy all this stuff in the duty free shops. Then yeah, you'd be like, surprise, surprise.

Right. This is imagining we're close. We kind of jab at each other and that's okay. So that, you know, Sometimes I'm not frustrated. No, exactly. And it's probably something that I have pointed out about myself.

Like this is something I own. I'm like, I love shopping at airports. You know that I've been vocal about this before. And so you can make a joke about it because I've already made that joke about myself.

It's probably the case for you to say that. Right. Right. Right. And then I said, Jason just texted me that he didn't pack me my snacks. That's a shocker.

So he's a little bit forgetful. Yes, right. Whoever this is packing your snacks is constantly forgetting to pack you your snacks, which I just find so funny because I don't know about you, Michelle, but I have to pack my own snacks. No one else is packing snacks for me.

I wonder why I needed someone to pack my snacks. I love it. I think it's so funny. I would love to be a person who has someone packing snacks for me. That would be great.

Personal assistant. I don't have that person. I guess kids get their snacks packed, but not at all. Yeah, exactly. So funny. And then I just said, oh, he forgets that all the time.

Figures. You need a new personal assistant. I do. Oh my gosh. So guys, if you haven't already, check out a recent episode we did. It was episode 2659.

Don't be thrown off by this vocabulary. Yes, that was so great. That was answering a really good question we got from a listener of ways to talk about schedules being interrupted. That's a very common thing happens to all of us.

So go check that one out and be sure again to follow on Business English so that you can get the follow up to this episode. All right. Yes. And takeaway for today is, you know, be careful with these, but they are very common.

You will hear them. If you want to be safe, only use them in a humorous way with someone who has made the joke about themselves, who you're very close to, or about...

yourself or about an inanimate object like a plane. Yeah, exactly. Right. These are fun. They can build connection. Now, you do have to be careful because there is this underlying implication of that you're annoyed.

You're irritated that this is happening all the time. So you do want to be careful if you don't want someone to feel badly, have their feelings hurt, be offended, as is often the case with sarcasm. You can accidentally hurt someone's feelings when you're sarcastic. So definitely a good thing to keep in mind.

Yes. All right. Thanks, Aubrey, for talking about this with me today. And thanks everyone for listening. And we'll talk to you soon. Awesome. See you next time.

Bye. See you next time.