AEE 2634: Are You an Optimist? Vocabulary for Wishful Thinking

This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2634. Are you an optimist? Vocabulary for wishful thinking. Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 200 million times.

Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, with your American hosts, Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, and Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, coming to you from Arizona and New York City, USA.

And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. Have you ever burst someone's bubble? Today, we share phrases for wishful thinking that are great for connecting about your hopes for the future and why you should avoid bursting bubbles to keep connections strong.

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Take the quiz now for free at allearsenglish.com slash fluency score. That's allearsenglish.com slash F-L-U-E-N-C-Y-S-C-O-R-E. Hey, Aubrey. How are you?

I am great, Michelle. How are you? I'm doing well. Excited to be recording with you guys. Aubrey and I are going to have more time on the mic together while Lindsay is out, but you will still be hearing her voice.

Don't you worry. And nothing is changing at all ears English. So, but we're going to have some fun. So do you tend to, are you a wisher? Do you tend to make a lot of wishes?

That is a great question. Lindsay and I chatted about this on the podcast not that long ago that you know how often in the States, at least I think in a lot of the world, you blow out candles on a cake and make a wish. Yeah, I never did. I don't know why I would blow out the candles.

I don't think I ever really made a wish or at least I don't remember any like specific things I would wish for. I think I just like didn't believe like who's granting these wishes. Yeah.

What about you? You're a skeptic from a very young age. From a very young age, yes. I kind of took my wishes very seriously. I was more on the other end.

I would be nervous. I mean, my wishes were always... I never wished for anything fun. I was basically always wishing for... No one would die. But I also never, like a lot of people will throw a coin into a fountain and make a wish.

Never have I done that in my life. And my kids know it's just not a thing. I don't know. I'm not a wishmaker. Do you do that? Do you throw coins into a fountain and make a wish?

I mean, I used to, but now my kids do it. But sometimes then my daughter will try and just take coins from fountains. Now that I would do. That I would be a wishmaker.

I remember on the movie Goonies when there's like somehow they access underground like coins in a fountain and they're like treasure and they're taking it all. I remember as a kid being like, yes, I want all those coins. That's so funny. Yeah.

So today we are going to talk about a cool expression. This is a wishful thinking. Oh. Wishful thinking. Do you use that? I do. I don't make wishes a lot, but I do say wishful thinking, especially as a skeptic.

I'll say to someone who is being hopeful or wishful, I'll be like, yeah, that's wishful thinking. You just bring everybody down. Taking the air out of their sails, the wind out of their sails.

um so yeah so this is interesting because yeah it doesn't actually deal with making wishes this is more kind of yeah more the skeptic side um so we're gonna talk about this but guys we want to make sure that you hit follow wherever you are listening to the all ears english podcast don't miss anything we are here how many times a week aubrey five times a week right And you don't want to miss any of these episodes. So hit follow wherever you listen to podcasts, just open that search bar, search All Ears English, and you can't miss that cheerful, bright yellow background.

Exactly. Awesome. Okay, so tell us, Miss Skeptic, what is wishful thinking? Yeah. So this is all about hope. You're wishing something will happen, but you know, it's unlikely, right?

It's very optimistic. We often say like, I know this is wishful thinking, but and then we'll say like a hope we have for the future, for us, for our kids, for the world.

Yes, exactly. So we often just acknowledge that something is wishful thinking and it but and that in turn ends up being kind of pessimistic. Yeah, I would say realist. Yeah.

Okay. Yes. People would say pessimistic. I'm like, I feel like I'm just realistic. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That depends on how you look at it. Yeah. I mean, well, Aubrey, in what context do people have wishful thinking?

Maybe like winning the lottery. Anyone buying a lottery ticket, it has wishful thinking, right? They've got to know it's so unlikely they'll win, but they're hopeful. So they're buying a ticket.

Yeah, exactly. Or maybe just a fast like like a I succeed overnight. Right. So maybe, for example, that somebody wants to be a movie star and they think, oh, I'm going to, you know, overnight be like by next month, I'll be in my first movie.

I mean, yes, these can these can happen. These are things that can happen, but they're unlikely. Right. Yes, exactly. Or quick fixes for things. This has happened to me so many times just around the house where I'm like, oh, you know, the electricity of the fridge is out.

I'm sure that's just a fuse we replace. And then that was wishful thinking. You have to call a repairman or buy a new fridge like often. Yes, not a quick fix.

Exactly. you know sometimes you just hope that you walk away and then you come back and it'll just have worked itself out now that's real wishful thinking i'm gonna leave the room and i'm gonna come back yeah yeah well that's i mean not right well yeah actually we have a current issue with our dishwasher and we i i thought oh i i fixed it i think it's fine and i just had to you know drain in the garbage disposal or whatever and then

You have one good dishwasher cycle and then it's back to what it was. Sorry to hear that. So Aubrey, it's okay. We'll figure it out. Are you, so it sounds like you are not really guilty.

You know what I am guilty of wishful thinking about is more about the world in general. I absolutely have hope for peace in the world. Right. And I'm often disappointed, but I have wishful thinking that like people will be good and kind.

And then I'm constantly disappointed when they're not. So I do have wishful thinking in some ways. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but that can be a good thing too.

I mean, you wouldn't want to be fatalistic about everything. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. That'll just bring you down. So, but let's do some examples of how this might sound.

So here, I'll do the first one. Do you think we can actually find a last minute flight or is that just wishful thinking? Yeah. Oh, that's such a perfect example, right?

Or maybe your flight's been canceled and you're at the airport and you're like, do you think there's a chance there's another one leaving within a couple hours or is this just wishful thinking? Yep. Yep. Yep.

Or the dress could be on sale. I know. Wishful thinking. I did this sometimes if I, I'll shop clearance racks and I always have wishful thinking that the price at the register will be even lower than it's marked.

And sometimes that's the biggest win. Yeah. It's funny when things are on sale and you're thinking, well, maybe it's still is lower because sometimes you're at a store and it's like,

like an extra 30% off of the sale price. And it's hard. Is it from the ticket? Right. And often it's like marked what it really is. But every now and then Nordstrom Rack is really great for this, where sometimes we'll get up to the register and it's, you know, I thought it would be $30 and it's like 10.

And I'm like, this is the best day. What could be better? Yeah, exactly. Or maybe they will come back 20 points in three minutes. I guess that's wishful thinking.

I'm very guilty of this with sports, right? I'm watching a football game. I'm like, it's not over till it's over. Yeah. Yep. Well, I see, I think I'm more I think I've gotten better about that.

But I still have this specific memory of watching a Knicks game with my dad when I was a kid. And he kept on saying it's not over till it's over, which is definitely a common expression. And then he was right. And they ended up winning.

But it was that's what I really love that about basketball, especially. Yes. This reminds me of we just watched Project Hail Mary, which for us is brand new. We're recording a bit in advance, so it will have been out a while by the time.

So most of you have probably seen it. Regardless, I still won't give any spoilers because a lot of things would be spoilery. But the whole premise, like the hope they have, it's probably in the preview, actually. What they're trying to do to save the planet is definitely wishful thinking.

That's why it's called a Hail Mary. That means like in football, when they throw throw the ball all the way to the end and just hope somebody catches it. It's wishful thinking.

It's a Hail Mary. We're just hoping that it works out. But all the evidence points to it's very unlikely. right and it's funny that you just brought that up because just this morning i was uh on the phone with my mom and she said oh she wants to start watching that but she read the book and i've heard the book's fantastic the movie was great my kids loved it they both want to be scientists now like any movie that inspires kids to be a scientist and make science look really cool and exciting is a win for society yeah

I love it. So just interesting structurally here. I mean, a lot of times you might say we talked about this. Is that just wishful thinking? Is that wishful thinking?

And then the second example, we said, I know wishful thinking, which is acknowledging it on your own, saying that I know it's wishful thinking. But you might also say, I guess that's wishful thinking. So a lot of different ways that you can use this. Exactly.

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All right, let's do a couple little mini role plays to show how it might sound in conversation. I'll start us out. You think we can be out the door in 10 minutes?

I think that's wishful thinking. I think so perfect. This is my husband. He's like been ready for 20 minutes. I mean, I don't take that long to get ready, but I'm helping the kids.

I remember something I had to do. I'm like, sorry, we're running late. Yes. Oh, yep. Sounds like me. Or here's another one. Well, maybe we'll still win.

Our cake is delicious. Yeah, but there are so many pros. I don't know. I think it's wishful thinking. Yeah, this is very accurate. I'm the realist. It's like, we're not going to win and it's okay.

And then when I do win, which is rare, I'm just so extra surprised and happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. I mean, can this ever burst someone's bubble though?

That's a nice little bonus for today. You know, someone's excited. You know, Aubrey sounds like you burst. I burst people's bubbles. I try not to do this, but I will.

And sometimes it's more for humor. Like as a joke, I'll be like, okay, like bring it, let's come back down to reality. Yeah. I think that's wishful thinking, but often I will intentionally not do that because that's not a fun thing to see someone's face fall when they're excited about something.

So more often than not, I'm going to very intentionally not use this phrase, not burst their bubble because I love that they're excited about something and there is hope that it'll work out. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's good, Aubrey. Sounds like you have a healthy outlook.

I agree. Yes, exactly. So a couple other things you might hear. Unlikely, I think you used this already. Seems unlikely that we will actually be able to make our flight on time.

What should we do? Yes, or that's optimistic. You think we can make 200 in tips tonight? That's optimistic. Yeah. Right. Or false hope, right? We could do a follow-up on this one.

So for example, she's giving her team false hope. She knows they won't be getting raises. Let's definitely do a follow-up on this. And maybe over on the Business English podcast, because we do talk about this a lot at work, where we do sometimes need to be more realistic with goals.

Otherwise, we can demotivate people. Yeah. Yes, exactly. So all good expression. So let's do a role play before we head out for today. Aubrey, here we are friends and I am convinced that we can get Backstreet Boys tickets at the Sphere.

Oh, nice. I just want to see anything at the Sphere. I was just talking to friends that went to Vegas and they just saw this sort of like Wizard of Oz show at the Sphere because that's what was there. Oh,

aren't even Wizard of Oz fans. They said it was phenomenal. It like made them Wizard of Oz fans just because the Spear is such a cool venue. Yeah, guys.

So that's in Las Vegas. So, okay, here we go. Wow. So it looks like the prices are really high. Should we just keep checking? I think it's unlikely that they'll go down.

So we have to decide what we want to pay. But maybe right before the show, the prices will drop. That's optimistic. I think they'll sell out. I know this is probably wishful thinking, but maybe we should try going early to the door.

We can try, but I don't want you to have false hope. This is good that you had me be the more realistic one here because this is a conversation I would have. I'm like, let's not set ourselves up for disappointment. Right, right, right.

It was so funny. But yeah, this is a very common thing, you know, before a concert, before a game, when you're checking prices, checking prices, and maybe, you know, because sometimes it does work out. Sometimes you do all of a sudden at the very last minute, the ticket prices drop, but sometimes they just keep them going up or they just sell out. So it is a gamble.

But in this situation... I'm with you on this, Aubrey. That seems very unlikely. I really scored once. There used to be this airline. I think it was called City Bird.

I don't think it exists anymore. It would do transatlantic flights and it would charter a plane and then last minute sell any extra tickets so cheap. And I was able to fly to Brussels from Salt Lake City for $35. It was the craziest thing ever.

I heard about it. Oh my gosh. Just like a couple of days before, because I wasn't going to be able to go at all. I needed to go back. Long story short, I could not believe that.

Again, there's taxes and fees on top of that, but it still was the cheapest flight across the Atlantic that anyone could ever buy. So nasty. Amazing. Because it's just an empty seat.

Last minute. They're like, last minute, just somebody should take it. I love that. So, okay. So you said, I said, should we keep checking? And you said, I think it's unlikely that they will go down.

Yeah. And it's interesting. Unlikely is slightly more formal than just a very conversation. Like, I think they're going to go down, right? There are other ways we can say this, but this one too, right?

And then I said, when you said, oh, I think the prices will drop. I said, that's optimistic. which is a kind way of saying like, I love that you're optimistic, but it's unlikely.

And then I'm kind of, I'm trying, I'm coming to terms with the reality, but I'm still not quite there. So I said, I know this is probably wishful thinking, but maybe we should try going early to the door. So like to the you know, to the box office.

Right. And this is, I think the most, where I hear it the most likely, if you are being hopeful about something and someone's pushing back and being more realistic, we acknowledge this about our own hope and excitement. Like, I know this is wishful thinking, but I'm still going to hope.

Right. Right. And then you said we can try, but I don't want you to have false hope. So you were just pounding it like Aubrey, like you're not, no, like it's not happening.

Exactly. Right. And it's really great to have all of these expressions because you can see this is such a great connection to recognize we're all different in how much we're hopeful or how realistic we are. And to have more kind and thoughtful ways to say this, more blunt ways, you can sort of choose what works best for your personality.

Exactly. Yeah, I love that. So guys, head on over. We did episode 2629 of the All Ears English podcast that was more All Ears English. Yes, please. So anything else before we head off the mic today, Aubrey?

Yeah, use these phrases. But I do love this caveat, this warning that someone like me can burst someone's bubble and that could hurt connection. Someone's really excited about something. Let them be excited.

Don't be too quick to use these phrases because you think they're setting themselves up for disappointment. Let people set themselves up for disappointment because it might work out and it's nice to be excited.

Right. Exactly. I would say a great way to start using these is about yourself. Like we said, you know, this is probably wishful thinking, but right. So really good.

Thanks for talking about this with me, Aubrey, and I will talk to you soon. Awesome. See you guys next time. All right. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English.

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